Lately, I've been feeling as though the days string together with not much purpose at all. I'm wasting my time with modeling, working out, and all the vanity encapsulated activities I was simply never meant for and somehow stumbled into. I don't want people to love me because I'm beautiful. I don't want to be beautiful at all.
There is much purpose and beauty in the world that I'm missing while hiding behind superficial accomplishments. I want to travel to New Mexico and build an earthship. I want to impact a little girl's world with courage and determination. I want to write out my spilled emotions and affect people. I want to stop dreaming, and start doing. I want to be the girl that others look at and then want to do great things. Little bird caged right up with constructs, limits, rules, and expectations.
I fear that I've lost my way.

2 comments:
i like this.
fearing to be beautiful is a good fear to have, so much of us is based upon our physical appearance that we lose the sense of what is real and what is perception of ocular experience. but that is because people have forgotten that being beautiful is more than complexion...wanting some one for their body is lust. beauty is the sum parts of everything, our bodies, our minds, our voice (inner and outer)...everything. i haven't "known" you very long but just reading your blog now i have begun to see a very beautiful person emerge...granted i already though you were beautiful, due to the chats on zivity. i would not be here now in taking your mental radiance if not for your modeling. sometimes serendipity needs a little helping hand.
Post a Comment