We've always been told it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I question this statement. What if the love is the kind that sweeps you off your feet so high that when it's lost, you find yourself crashing down hard to the ground, broken spirited, emotionally shattered, and feeling a hellluva lot worse off than you were before you bothered with love at all? Is this heart wrenching experience really better than never knowing what you're missing?
Lately, I've been feeling swept off my feet to a degree I didn't know was even possible. The higher that my elation goes, the more aware I become of just how far away the ground is if I happen to crash back down. We place our heart into the hands of others, in hopes that they'll take care of it and catch us before the crash, but reality tells us that, more often than not, love fails and the crash is inevitable. It feels damn good while it's good though, and backing out now would cut those incredible emotional highs short. So what is a girl to do?!
Enjoy it while it lasts is the best answer I can muster. I didn't choose this feeling of flying. It crept up on me, and before I knew it I was in deeper than I ever would've allowed had I rationalized it in my head. The thing is, love isn't rational, and most of the time, it's not an absolute choice either. Maybe it's not better to have loved and lost, but we say it is because love is sneaky and we can't help but succumb despite the odds against us; it's a futile attempt to comfort ourselves after the fact with the idea that we're better off for the pain, and we're stronger, even while curled up with a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a box of tissues.
1 comment:
i've always hated that saying, it means you're better for knowing it,..but that pain makes you hesitant, paranoid, and can cripple you to the point that you are emotionally dead in private situations.
the rise and fall is scary, the landings suck the most, regardless of if you are landing on the bottom or a platform above it all.
the truth is parts of us will always wish we never loved so we wouldn't know the pain, the hurt, the shattering of our egos.
but then...with out it we wouldn't see the poetry in our pain, or sorrow.
as many times as i have been broken, as many times as have promised to not fall again, my heart is still there on my shirt waiting for it to be stolen.
i hope whomever is sweeping you off your feet treasures you.
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